I have a confession.
Sometimes I envy the wicked.
This is the statement of Asaph in Psalm 73. I absolutely love this Psalm, and it has been a source of encouragement to me several times in the last 10 years.
But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
Asaph was discouraged. Maybe he was tired of doing what was right as he saw people around him who couldn’t care less. Maybe he had trouble paying his bills because he was honest while others used dishonesty to amass ten times as much money as they needed. I don’t know his specific situation, but I can certainly identify with his feelings.
They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment. Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
I look out the windows of my conservative Christianity and see a whole lot of people having a whole lot of fun. Especially in the music and musical performance world.
Even “Christians” are getting into the act. Is it just me, or does it seem like half the pop stars today come from Christian families? Some reject their Christian roots, others tattoo them on their bodies. More and more Christians are trying out for American Idol-esque shows, seeking professional recording contracts, and figuring out ways to take their “thing” mainstream.
What exactly is “mainstream”? Mainstream is what the world loves. Mainstream is the pop culture. Mainstream is the entertainment industry. Mainstream is what makes the most money from the most amount of people.
Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.
I’m not denying that there are people of incredible God-given ability in the secular world. In fact, that is often what initially attracts those of us who have a desire to perform at a high level. I admire the talent of certain singers or instrumentalists in the secular arena because of their technical expertise and the obvious work they put into perfecting their instrument. I don’t believe this by itself is a problem.
But then comes the motivation to either imitate (if it was excellent) or improve (if we think we can do better). And for me, my heart wonders why I can’t go there, do that, sing this, perform like so-and-so. “After all,” my heart whispers, “You can hit that high note, sing those harmonies, emote the meaning just as well as that guy making millions.”
I hear someone on the radio or television or YouTube and I am tempted to envy. Not because I dislike that particular person, but because down deep inside, I feel like I have been denied an opportunity to show the world what I could do if I only had the chance.
Did you catch that? Did you catch the little sneaky innocent-sounding trap-word? Show whom?
The world. Show the world of YouTube, American Idol, the Sing-off, you name it.
Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency. For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.
Maybe you are one of those people who can watch some of these things and never consider how well you would measure up. That’s fine. That’s probably like me watching Kobe Bryant! But for musicians like me, there is something inside that motivates us to measure ourselves by the highest possible standard, and we cannot help but notice the quality (or lack thereof) of the music that is being produced around us. Watching a good performer makes us want to perform as good or better. We are motivated to practice more, sing higher, arrange better, perform truer. It is just part of what drives us.
We live in a world where 15 minutes (or more!) of fame is only one YouTube video away.
Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.
Have you ever ridden a rollercoaster that had not been finished? What if at the end of the ride, the tracks just simply . . . ended, 100 feet in the air? It wouldn’t matter how thrilling that ride was for the first 90 seconds. It wouldn’t matter how many loops, twirls, upside-down twisty-twists that coaster offered. You would be a fool to ride it.
So it is with the person who invests their life in this world. Asaph doubted for a while. Asaph was only looking at his current situation. He was comparing himself and his more difficult road with the people having fun on the coaster.
But then he understood: riding the coaster means destruction.
Hopefully, you can tell that it isn’t excellence that I am targeting. Doing the best job we possibly can with what God has given us is not a bad thing, of course! I’m talking about attaching ourselves to this world. I’m talking about measuring our success by this culture’s standards of dollars made, likes given, or videos hit.
Friends, this world has nothing permanent to offer. The applause ends. The record deals are hot for mere months. The tours finish. The voices fade. The TV seasons get canceled. There is always someone newer, younger, more attractive, and more charismatic around the corner.
How foolish are we as Christians to attach our lives to this carousel? You pay your money, you go in circles for a while with the music playing, and then the ride is over. Then what have we to show for it?
The number of Christians, even some who I know well, who are investing in this world’s entertainment culture astounds me. I didn’t say they were compromising their moral standards. In this particular article I’m not even bringing up styles and their appropriateness for believers. I’m not talking about being a witness where ever you are (insert tired sigh here). I’m just talking about Christians who are investing themselves in this world’s system. They are deriving their measure of success or failure based on the entertainment culture’s standards. How sad. How foolish. How wasteful. How temporary.
Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.
Oh the conviction of the Lord! Asaph felt so foolish! He compares himself to an animal, so ignorant he feels. And how ignorant are we indeed, when we begin to take the world’s priorities as our own!
Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
At first glance it appears that Asaph is speaking of the fact of his frailty and eventual death. But I believe there is more here. He has just shown us his doubts. He has written about his heart. His flesh was weak: he envied the wicked, even though he knew he shouldn’t. His heart let him down: he felt like he was keeping himself clean for nothing.
What is the solution? What is the answer? God is enough. God is enough! Christian, will we trade the smile of God for the transient, disingenuous applause of the world? Fellow Christian musicians, will we allow ourselves to be entranced by the cadence of the world instead of being